I wish you were a deadbeat

I would prefer it if you were a deadbeat dad at that point I did everything in my power to be the best but somehow you still stuck in your own head you forgot I existed from zero to six those were the ages that I simply didn't exist but when we got my dog when I was 10 that's when you started caring that's when you came around I was so happy but my frown turned upside down but then it switched again because you changed back to a man I never thought would be my dad I wish you were someone else couldn't you have left and left me with mom instead of fighting like you care you didn't buy me clothes this year you didn't buy me the things I need I am a tool for you to hurt mom and then you hurt me you don't even notice but I cry every night cuz I know you don't love me and I know I'm a burden but why can't you simply just pretend for the sake of my mind make me go through challenges that I'm only 14 why do I have to suffer like this for eternity for the rest of my life I'll remember my dad as he hurt my feelings and betrayed my trust how am I supposed to believe a man that doesn't believe in real love I would have preferred if you were deadbeat but instead you sleep in the room right next to me