I wish

I wish I was a poem not the poet for sometimes I wish I was the one pined not the one pining Sometimes it feels as if im under construction constantly building up my walls patching drywall where holes developed reworking the path to my center someone will come along and break them leaving me exposed and vulnerable I feel okay at the moment happy to be seen then they leave, they disappear, they distance where I felt peace is replaced with panic where I felt bliss now overtaken with pain where I felt love I become forgotten I wish I was the rain not the puddle for sometimes I wish I could fall freely not drown in the fall Sometimes it feels as if I am treading water looking for signs of land or a boat the waves crashing over me eventually I'll let myself sink I see a light in fog someone has noticed my struggle I'm tossed a line and I climb aboard my sea legs are back and proper Then the captain decides I am no longer fit I cannot serve the crew any longer I am not wanted and now thrown overboard where I felt I fit in, I was cast aside I wish I was a poem not the poet for once it'd be nice to be written about rather than myself writing about you