I WILL NOT BE THE FIREFIGHTER

You know what— It’s about energy. That’s what my friend told me today. When we want to build bonds we think can last forever, we start accepting whatever that person makes us feel. We stop questioning. We stop asking for better. We think— maybe we can fix them. Maybe we can taste that same energy whenever we want. But in doing that, we hurt ourselves. Because people change. Their energy changes. A friend who used to shine— now dull. A boyfriend who once lit up the room— now distant. And I used to think I can’t change the person. But maybe… just maybe, I can change the energy. The source. Where it's coming from. I want to be that. I want to be the person who knows how to shift the energy, replace it, heal it. I want to have so many substitutes for the energy I crave, that I never depend on just one flame to feel warm. I want to be the kind of person who doesn’t always have to be the bigger one. Not always the solver. Not always the calming one. I just want to be happy. And not at the cost of breaking myself to keep someone else whole. Because I will not be the firefighter anymore.