i was.

I start a new school tomorrow. I have no friends. I never did. I start a new school tomorrow. I'm scared. I hate change. I don't understand how I can do this. I start a new school tomorrow. it hasn't even began yet I'm ready for it to end. I start a new school tomorrow. can I make any friends? I'm socially awkward. struggle with basic interactions. I can't stand people. I start a new school tomorrow. I hate this. what if I'm in a room of kids I don't like? a room of boys who won't sit tight boys with no respect for girls boys who will make fun of my every breath boys who I am uncomfortable with boys not men but boys boys who are immature and scare me boys who I can't trust for what if they hurt me? I shouldn't think like this. not all men..... not all boys are like that. stop thinking this way. I was 10 when I started to count my fingers when walking past a group of men. I was 11 when I started to pretend I knew where I was headed. I was 12 when I was never alone for fear of what could be done. I was 13 when I was cat called, and that wasn't the end. I was 14 when I pretend to be on the phone. I was 15 when I stopped going out, when I never left the house. i was and then I wasn't