I want to love you

I want to love you. I want to do all the things I cringe at, Like saying I love you over and over Or just hugging and feeling on each other. Like Ellle and Noah from The Kissing Booth Or like Lara Jean and Peter from To All the Boys I've Loved Before. But I can't. Not because we're long-distance But because I don't know you I don't know if you're cheating, And I don't know if you're just saying you love me. And the thing is, I can't tell. I can't tell if you're genuine or just a good liar, I can't tell if I'm the only one or just some girl you talk to. You said you told your friends and siblings about me, but is that true? And I really do want to be able to love you but I just don't know. I'm so used to being lied to and deceived that anything genuine seems too good to be true. Believe me when I say I love you, but I get worried that I'm delusional I don't want to get heartbroken again, and I don't want to assume anything. I just wish I had a crystal ball or a way I can see a person's thoughts. Maybe then I can see what you truly think of me All I want is to be able to love you freely. No worries, no overthinking, no feeling foolish I just want to love you, is that to much to ask?