I used to understand...

I used to understand about the Deen, Worship Allah, be pious and fear Him, Stand up to Solah very early, but now, I don't seem to know anymore. What has happened to me? What has rid me of my joy? What has made me lose it all? Duniya on a thread and Aakiroh dangling. Now, I can't profess a faith, I believe and I obey, These were words easy on the tongue for me, but now, I seem to rush away from them. Every wrong choice, I answer my soul, Every sin and pride afterwards, Every time you walked atop the clouds, You brought the ruin upon yourself. Now, I even dare to question faith, Now, I even dare to not understand again, Now, I realize that I may have- lost my magnitude and direction. I used to understand the Deen so much, I still do, loved it yet better, It was Allah alone for me in this duniya, but now, I've lost it all. Pride, what a fall you are! Sin! What a shame you are! Maryam, how naive you are! Maryam, how easily you fell! It wasn't a task of one day but the Shaytan got you real good, And now here you are, with regrets and tears that do not seem to portray a hint of regret, Or remorse or sincerity. For how much longer are you gonna sin! When are you preparing to turn back!