I miss you. pt. 1

I miss you. I am ok. A distant memory. Something that comes up in a conversation with old friends that ask me how I am. His smile brightening up the attic filled with boxes of time I spent with him. Holding all the memories I have left of what we shared. Many questions. Still keeping me captive, living in my head even when I ask them to vacate. Playing on repeat every time you are brought up. Did you tell me? Are you truly gone? Many questions that only you can answer. Did you actually love me the way I still love you? Is it time to move on? Does the pain ever go away? I love you. The last words I had said to you. They fell out of my mouth after our late night talk. You had not said it back. You said you really liked me, but the saying was too strong. You told me when you are ready you'll say it back. Would you be ready now? If you were still here, that is. Would we be the inseparable couple that everyone openly hates, but secretly envy? The only thing that would separate us being distance, the lonely walk after being dropped off at home.