I have to go

I have to go. It’s not about stopping talking to you. It’s about leaving the chat during the four hours when you can’t respond. It’s not about never seeing you again. It’s about truly seeing you and stopping waiting for reactions that don’t exist. I have to leave. It’s not about ghosting you. It’s about stopping waiting for your interactions to feel good. I’m not referring to ending our friendship. I’m referring to stopping thinking about the things you do or don’t. I must let you go. And I’m not referring to hating you. Just loving you without hurting myself. It’s not about loving you less, But transforming love in a way that doesn’t cause pain. I want to say thousands of things and at the same time say not a single one. That old woman pulls my clothes, Causing my heart to shake, Before I ignore her again. Though fortunately, I have enough love. So I’m going to leave, To stay aware.