I have to—

for a child with a wondrous imagination it's kind of strange to grow up— seeing things in frenzied colors as if reality's happening in a blurr. whenever I close my eyes I could never visualize what's there for me in the future nor how the present times would actually look like though I shrugged the thought off my mind thinking it might be just a phase I was growing anxiety with age as if my world is on standstill while the Earth revolves before me I was desperately trying to join its orbit losing every spark of curiosity gambling my innocence and sanity along the way I had to lose a part of me to eventually end up nothing but feeling empty I'm merely surviving. breathing every breath I could breathe grateful for the life I was given I'm sure everything will be worth it just to have my name among the end credits. I'll just have to live through this. I have to even if I don't want to.