I hate...?...I envy...

I hate my body and the way I talk. I hate how i dress and the way I walk. Do i just follow others? I need to stop. Do i really know who I am? I dont. I envy those who are prettier, smarter, and just better, because it will never be me. I envy those who can be looked at without fear, because I dread other seeing me. I hate that I don't know my style, or who I am. I hate that I cant ask for help, and that I dread talking to people Why does food seem gross? I hate eating. why do I care what others think? I live for others approval. I envy those who fall in love, because it never seems to be me. I envy those who talk to boys, because I get weird and awkward focusing on what they think of me.