I hate you (monologue)

I hate being so attached to you...I hate the fact that seeing your face makes me smile, I hate the fact that you make me laugh like an idiot, I hate when you flirt with me and make me have butterflies in my stomach, I hate that you make me feel like the only person in the world.....I hate you because you've made me fall so hard for you...You'd text and call me everyday and make me feel special and then.... nothing. Now you don't call, your texts are dry and few and far in-between. But...I love you because whenever I need you to hug me you do, I've begged my friends to ask you how you feel and you say you like me, but you won't date me because you need a break from relationships....that's fine! That's fine! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you HAVE to date me or you can't take time for yourself but...id GREATLY appreciate it if you'd stop flirting with me and randomly holding my hand in class or doing things you know for a fact make me blush harder then a fresh tomato.... because you know what your doing and it hurts me because if you get to the point where you wanna date again....you won't like me for anything more then someone to mess with for fun...