I hate this.

I hate falling in love with people who can't love me. I hate building myself Back up from nothing just to not be enough for someone. I hate how Familiar it is to not be enough for someone. I hate how familiar The weight of melancholy is when it's crushing me. I hate how hard it is to Love me. I hate that I know how hard it is to love me. I hate putting in so much effort for Something to be possible with someone who tells me later that he Doesn't know if it's possible. I hate respecting myself. I hate myself. I hate the idea of being someone's side bitch. I hate having someone I Love decide someone else is better. I hate not respecting myself. I hate Pretending im attractive and valuable. I hate having to be confident when I Am nothing. I hate being nothing. I hate the way my heart melted when you kissed me. I hate the idea of being something. I hate being an Unwanted consciousness tied to an undesirable form. I hate that people See me when they look at me. I hate being a glorified ghost possessing it's Own corpse. I hate everything I used to be. I hate everything I pretend to be. I hate pretending you have to try. I hate pretending I have boundaries. I hate pretending I love myself anywher