I go quiet a lot...

I go quiet a lot. And that's not because i'm shy or nervous, but because i'm scared. Scared that i'm gonna say the wrong thing, that i'm gonna mess something up, because I always do. And i'm not just saying that to try and be relatable, but i'm actually being honest. I'm so scared that i'm gonna screw up everything, because I always get too close and, then they leave or they get too close and i get too scared. I shut them out, i cut them off. And that's not something that i'm proud to admit. And i know exactly why i shut them out. It's because they know me, and I don't want them to. Well i want them to know the version of me that I let everyone see. But not me, not actually. I'm scared that if they saw, they wouldn't want me, that they wouldn't love me.