I forgive you

I forgive you, you who told me I'm not good enough, you who let the voices in my head tell me stuff. You who fed me lies so many times I believed it, spoke every lie like I meant it. you who said, "I hate you " again and again. those words left on repeat like a heart beat pumping hate through my body, spreading it like a disease. You the voice that finds me when I'm low and tells me I should let go. Who are you? I need to know. is this voice me? can I not see? did I create this war by hating myself and more? Is this confusion created by me? or just a twister of lies sent here to torment me? Whether the day feels bright there's no comforting. I look in the mirror. What do I see? Do i see me ? or who I wish I could be? I'm I distracted by all the scrolling? by all the women they say are gorgeous? you would be happy if you were her, her or her, it's in my head on repeat I think it, I speak it, then I believe it. it's no longer distant, it's no longer jst a thought, I stare and stare in the mirror bare for hours trying to repair every little flaw everyone swears isn't there. I want to be perfect, but perfect means nothing It doesn't exist, I'm jst a girl and I'm trying my best, but you say "it isn't