I find myself

I find myself reliving the same situation only thing different is the person themselves. I've lived this before, with a much more unfortunate outcome. I find myself doing a cycle, much like an addiction I once let consume my soul. I told myself I wouldn't put myself through it again. Here I am , making it my life. I couldn't change the person that was before him but I didn't dare try. If I try it this time. I would be the controlling type. When I am only trying to keep him alive. I find myself wishing I could turn back time as if anyone has that power. Watching my loved one, end up at the bottom of a bottle. I don't want to loose my loved one but I don't want to watch it all unfold once again. I find myself wanting more, but I am not changing anything in my life to make that possible. I find myself day dreaming of a better life but I'm stuck with the reality of who I am and what I have become. I find myself in a cycle all over again. I find myself.