I don't want to love anymore

I don't want to love anymore yet I crave to be the one reflecting your eyes. I don't want to love anymore yet I want to be the one cradling your thoughts I don't want to love anymore yet I want to be the one making you smile making you cry , owning you body to soul ..all mine. All mine? What am I thinking ?I don't want to love anymore , remember? Then why do I want this ? Am i even allowed to want this? I'm stuck ,I don't understand My heart flutters at your words but it whispers me to let go.. My brain recaps your image yet tempts me to forget you and hide you away in my castle of memories. I don't want to love anymore yet I crave you ..to be mine all mine and only mine . Is this fear ?or is this just an obsession? I just know i don't want to love anymore