I don't want to be me

I'm scared of what others think about me. im scared they see me how i do. scared they dont like, my legs, my thighs, my arms, or even my eyes. I wonder why I'm covered in marks, marks that show how much I eat. Some say they're marks of strength or even beauty. But thats not what I see I see disgusting, distorted, discolored marks. There is no beauty in sight. I feel like I hide behind a fake persona, and nobody knows the real me. I follow trends, instead of my inner beauty. why cant I be a popular girl, a girl who can talk to guys, a girl with effortless beauty, Why can't i be anyone but me?