i don't get it

I cherish every moment with you all when I see you all smile, that is what makes me happy I will never turn down and opportunity to spend time with you all I put in every ounce of my hope into you all I am eager to do things with you all so why? why do you not do the same? why do you sulk? why do you go on about how you wish you were dead? do you know how hard I worked to get here? you started out with it all yet you still want to die I don't get it why?