"I don't belong" part 1

I have always felt like I don't belong any where in this world I only felt good in my room when I'm alone and I wanna express it but how can I find the words to express a feeling me myself don't know it won't get less it just grows it will never feel the same when I was nine and happy when I never felt unworthy but now I'm going insane am I really the same person I was six years ago when I never thought about what I say when I never thought about the play my life became when I never pray to God to take me away from this world or never exist it was never even a small thought but now my life is sore better than some worst than most it feels like I don't deserve the gift I was given by the lord like the body I own I don't deserve it a disabled person could've needed it more not even in my body I belong not even in my room anymore