I don't

I don't wish I was dead I just wish I wasn't alive I don't want to feel the pain I don't want to listen to the screaming I don't feel like taking my meds not because I don't want to get better because they don't work Every time I say I feel sad I don't want to hear "did you take your meds" Because I did but nothing changes I don't want to live like this I don't want to be in a house with no trust I don't want to tell the school counselors because they will call my mom I don't want her to know because she will ask me if I took my meds and wonder why I didn't tell her first I don't wish I was dead well maybe I do I just don't want to live like this