I Could Be Wrong

For a few weeks now Things felt different Never did I feel the way it felt For a while without anger When he would return for a few days Until I got the unsupportive wife text Followed by his exchange of messages With someone else And wondered how he'd feel If I messaged a guy Exactly the same words It cut deep inside But instead of crying over it I decided to go out Get some air, and laugh Over my aching heart See a different view Then looking back at all the pain And feeling it all bury me down I chose to do something different Then crying over all I carried I chose to do little things I wouldn't dare Jump in the deep and swim up When I feared the deep Laugh about everything Like nothing serious mattered If things happened, it happened Free will we're all given We choose what we choose You chose to hurt me I chose to try and be alright with it Then I saw the anger again And in that moment I knew, I was wrong Things won't change I know the phrases he uses And just that's enough to trigger My beating heart to beat faster My hands to get sweaty And my mind to recall how it feels How it all felt When he gets angry While I'm helpless To do anything It's a different person In that moment