hypocritical philosophy

I understand now what I must do Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, who knew? To become a hypocrite of my own philosophy Is to desecrate the memory of who I chose to be The smile I thought was real was just a mask plastered on my face Now standing on the other side of the chase This won't work out I feel it in my soul But to not give it a chance is the idea that grows like mold What do I do and what do I say? So I can still be me and live without disgrace