Hurt me softly

He never came home , Or I guess that's what I call it when he's gone I wonder if he wants me away , and he doesn't have the heart to tell me he doesn't want to say. I guess i could be wrong and things could be completely different from his point of view. But I wonder sometimes if he craves someone new , someone quiet , someone slimmer someone with big blue eyes He said to me that he didn't want to bother us in the night, but he'd rather knock on someone else's door to stay the night? I find it odd , but I don't like asking where he goes when he hides. Cause the less I know the better. When he comes back , he always brings me something too , from a kiss to a chocolate or something to do , write I don't want to know what he does , in fear of me going back to my ways. I know it'll hurt me in ways that I'll never be the same. Or maybe it won't, and I'm spiraling. I just hope he sees me trying. I hope he sees me trying , trying to keep him happy , m but I don't think I'm doing it right , because maybe if I did , he wouldn't go out every night. And if I ever sent this to him to read , just know , I'm not blaming you for anything .I know it's been a rough 2 days or so..