How Many Times Can I Lose

How many ways can I do one thing? How many new ideas can I try? Does it matter if it's right or wrong? Does it matter why? Define crazy for me. Define stable I thrive here but I only survived there? I keep looking for the right answer But there's not one, I swear I protect myself and I lose I reach my goal and I lose I take care of my people and I lose I fulfill my role and I lose I feel so tired of losing I'm really just tired of hoping Without hope, I have nothing to lose What happens if I lose when I'm barely coping I'll go crazy one day, then it really starts They'll go around and play the game No one will win but everyone has a part No one wants to take the blame So who is held accountable? The doctor that let me down? The stressors of everyday? The leader that was never around? But no one owns the problem No one is working on a solution Instead we all suffer together Suffering from the same delusion One day I'll be gone but will that be enough? There's a problem with the system There are problems all around But one death ain't enough to fix 'em