how many days left?

Days and nights pass The sun rises and sets My insides rot and churn It feels like I'm wasting everyone's time To satisfy my own aching heart I lay idly Knowing I'm in quick sand The hour hand keeps spinning And I keep sinking The weight crushes my bones Pointless questions flood my mind Poison seeps into my systems I'm dying slowly Life and its burdens It's never-ending problems Toil on my mentality An existence I never asked for But one I must work for It's a question I can never wrap my head around So I lay idly Waiting for my day to come Where i won't kill myself Where life won't kill me Where I'll feel nothing but peace I wait and pray For a God I know I've wronged For something I barely believe I deserve For you