How it feels to be in my mind

Ocean of thoughts gathers in, Pushed me to the core, I'll never win. No one to listen, no one to tell, However, if poured who'll care? Came across a place, bright and calm, Joy and peace, everything I've ever want. No harm, no chaos, no place for any fear, But then I realized it was all an illusion I bear. Crowded by people, yet feel alone, Why do I search for a settling home? I try to hold on, I try to fit in, It's the place I never meant to be in. Messed up with the peace, yet I crave for the morning, Where do I run to when I'm drowning. My home is far, my people are like war, It's the battle I've lived so far. The untangled strings, that occupies me around, The way I handle, and the anxiety surrounds. I scream, I scream, weep in a silent cries, Wait for the sunrise, after breaking down thrice. Endless hardwork, climbing the height, Just to reach the stars, my parents once sight. Trying my best, yet I fumble up and shatter, I whispered- oh! I'm standing for myself as I do matter. Adinnna~