How dare you, my dear

I'm sick and tired of the memory of you. I've prayed my feelings away, but into a mirror I have done so for they merely reflect right back. And now i find myself longing for you. There is no longer a reason, i just miss you because it is you. If only I could say there was a logical way to my desperation, I'd rationalize with it. But it has become an irrational longing. You are not good for me, you're the poison that fills my last wine. You are the drug that keeps me high, and to you I'm addicted like a druggie for crack. It's humiliating, and devastating that I long for someone I know is bad for me, someone I know will only hurt me, Someone I cannot ever ever have. Yet i keep on "hoping" but Youre gone. Youre gone. You're gone. So go away, leave the space of my mind at once. I hate you. You've bewitched me and I always yearn to hold you tight, and tell you how much I treasured you and how much i wanted to give you my all and- No...you didn't want my all. You didn't want me! But my dearest, how can I cut off the very heart that keeps me alive? How will i survive, if the only thing holding me here is you?