house, not home.

my parents are arguing I can't bring myself to leave the room so I'm sitting on the couch comforter spread across my head further dimming the already low lighting headphones on my ears blaring music knees curled to my chest holding myself rocking back and fourth, self soothing the comforter has flowers and stripes I hear it was my grandmas, its pretty the lighting is tinted yellow from nicotine I don't like the color, usually it feels home-like but it just doesn't here I can't focus on what exactly I'm listening to, I think it's nice though I only recently learned I could curl my knees to my chest, its very comforting I like to hold myself, my parents haven't in a long time I don't know why I rock back and fourth, it just happens sometimes and I can't bring myself to stop it it feels awkward but nice my house hasn't felt like home in a while