Hopelessness, a sin

Misery loves company, and i am alone. All this sadness within me has found its home. Sometimes, i wonder if i should pull the trigger and end it all. But then I wonder what if, like everything else, it ends up all wrong. What if, like everything else, the pain never goes, it just grows. What if im meant to be punished with my own existence and inhibitions. What if i was never meant to listen. What if it was all another dream where I die alone. Die among, no one, in solitude, like the death I've known. I guess that's the death i want. I guess that's where i end, not in a plane with the people and the fire i saw. In a dark scary night all by myself, as i was once warned. Will it be a relief or another wrong. Step in the path of life I've been on. Will the pain go away, or will i still be writing songs. Will i be in heaven or hell, i guess the answer's known. Too stained to enter those golden gates like the ones before. Like father like son, i can't help but eat the apple once more. Unlike him, i know it's wrong Unlike him, I've lost all hope. It's just my fate i mourn. Unlike him, i haven't shown remorse. I've given up. May lord have mercy on my soul.