Hope, not all Gone

In a state of emotional disorder In a state of self blackmail and rejection Behind the bars of ones mind, all against the wish Devasted to stupor, emotional waves crashing silly Depressed mindset, distorted thoughts, a killjoy I am lost, not geographically but in my emotions An ailment I can't phantom an antidote My emotions blackmailing me telling me I'm a loser My physical self darkening Oh, this is not fair. But I don't give in to those I don't give up on myself I see light, I see the clouds beyond my barrier Is that hope? Is that redemption? I love light, I follow light Hope is seen I follow hope ambitiously My better self has been actualized See you at the other end Nothing is stopping me this time