His birthday

I want to wish him but I shall no longer lower myself for him is how I'm feeling I'm fighting to get me back I'm fighting to keep who I am but I'll be back It's like I'll be gone after next year Give him the sense that I'm gone and be back as a whole different person perhaps I've read to many books He's turning 19 It may be the first birthday I don't give him anything I've studied what type of a person he is He reeks of the aura of a person who doesn't care That's gonna change eventually but who am I The first birthday where I ignore his existence Kinda hurts but it isn't over