him...or it?

I stoped thinking about him instead I want to swim. Swim and drown deep down. Deep down in my own thoughts and words. He isn't my number one no this time it starts with something diffrent. My old habit I can't focus but the first thought isn't you anymore, no it's my habit more. It crawls into my head and eats it alive, I can't survive Don't know who i am but guess what I know, my old habit that shows, veing so close I don't even want to stop I just wish i could've forgot. Forgot how it felt, missing the feeling, just looking up the ceiling. I wish it would be diffrent but I can't change my head wish more like the feeling wozld be dead.