Him

What's this feeling I feel at home I feel at ease not alone but actually I don't know maybe it's just my bodies changing I can't fit in these clothes where the hell am I getting this weight from I haven't touched my food yet the convo is even better than I thought I wanna be alone I don't want to feel close to anyone I hope he leaves soon I really can't take this feeling anymore Why do I feel free what as he done to me why am I showering often again why am I even combing my hair I am experiencing this weird feeling it's like when I see him I feel something jumping in my stomach my body feels at home my smile is brighter but I am stills scared I don't know what am scared of is it him or is it me a am I hurting him ?? do I look good? what's this in my face why do I feel like I suddenly care should I leave or should I stay?? I don't want to anyway Why do I smell this scent it's smells familiar is it him what's this feeling I can't explain but I don't want it end I want it to stay with me forever but can it? is he feeling the same way?