High

Im confused My mind is tied up with thoughts that i can't refuse I don't know what's wrong is it unhealed trauma? Or am i just stupid? Am i just dumb? Im trying but we know what happens in the long run Look at me just messing up everything like a wrecker with no designed destination Just going around tearing down walls Tearing down walls that make me feel good and never misunderstood Why on earth am i pushing them away when i know im gonna cry like a baby when their presence dies Im tired of the cries the swollen eyes the dangerous addictions pulling me towards the sky Its better when im high but also bad too feels like a mouth that never had gum to chew So unfair so unclear so weird to think that i feel weird Im just stupid and messed up i deserve everything thats toxic Im so stuck in my ways i don't even see im pushing them away Then talk abt stuff that don't even make sense Why don't i just shut up Shut up and never talk Take charge of my feet and just never walk I feel like getting up and go through the door but at the sane time i want to sit and just stare at the door instead of leaving Its not my fault i have no feelings Im confused But im patient So i'll just wait and stay strong.