HELP.....

it hurts so freaking much I thought if I kept the tears flowing it'll stop?? why is my head throbbing I'm now so bad at concealing the pain,the exhaustion,the tears... my eyes lost their spark, my smiles are all forced,I'm so tired of feeling this way, tired of writing about all of it, but my pen and paper are my only companions, they listen without asking questions, they are always here... I'm really tired of all the toxicity around me, what I would give for a little peace... what I would give for a real friend.... what I would give for a little love...... what I would give for the pain to go away... I would give my life......