hear me

i keep everything buried deep inside, always holding it in so I will not cry, everyone always tells me that I'll be fine but why can't they see I'm just not alright, I'm screaming out loud but no one can hear me, I feel like I'm drowning but everyone's near me, surrounded by faces of people who cheer me but why can't they see I just want to kill me. I sit here and feel like I'm washing away. these fears. consume me, controll me everyday, the only thing I can ever do is pray, but god can't always take the bad things away, I'm pleading and begging and asking him why, if you are so mighty and powerful then why won't you try, you say that everything happens for a reason but lord I'm scared and surrounded by my demons