Hate This Feeling

When I'm feeling low, I start remembering all the times I've been called ugly, all the times I've been looked at in disgust, thinking I will never find anyone that is attracted to my kindness and caring nature. When I'm feeling low, I start remembering all the times I've never been enough, no matter how good I treat them, no matter how chivalrous I am, thinking that I will never find anyone that will find my personality good enough. When I'm feeling low, I feel all the knives in my back, remembering who put them there, thinking I will never find a real friend that won't take advantage of my caring nature. When I'm feeling low, all I feel is loneliness, it is overwhelming, with no one to talk to, I can feel it overwhelm me. When I'm feeling low, I can feel my heart is broken, pains in my chest, doctor says the beats are normal, so it must be just broken right? When I'm feeling low, I feel too far gone, there is no way to get my confidence back when I never feel wanted or good enough, even when I put them first. When I'm feeling low, I don't really want to die, but I really can't take this lonely hell or this pain any longer, feeling like death is the only way out.