HARD truth

This Hands shaking, tears wiped, words stuck. I ruined it. All of it. No softer way to say it. I’m falling I pushed too far, ignored feelings, throat closing, nothing coming out. Those hypnotising eyes dragged me in when I should’ve looked away. He looked. I shouldn’t have. But I did. He looked again and laughed, and I sank deeper until I remembered — he has someone. Saw them together. He. Her. He. Her. Me? No. No. And the worst part is how fast everything flipped. One second I felt seen, the next I felt sick. That jolt in my stomach, the one that says you messed up, you messed up big. And still I kept thinking about it, replaying it, twisting myself into knots I can’t undo. My fault. MY FAULT. Fair consequences, karma, MHMM Happy me pretended everything was fine… until he cut it short. Let me not blame men — I hate men, but worse, I hate the me in MEn. I’m the reason things broke, the reason things happened. And so they did. I can’t do this. I really can’t. It feels like everything slipped straight through my fingers and I’m just I became the monster, guilt crawling under my skin. A version of me I never meant to be. Call me that, fine. Say I ruined everything, maybe I did. No more hiding, no more lies