Happy Holidays?

I didn't greet anyone a Merry Christmas this year Oh how I wish I did, but all I can muster is a tear 'Twas not what I intended, nor did I do it on purpose But I am fighting for my sanity, almost at a loss I don't know what I'm writing, oh how I wish I understand These thoughts that keep on flowing, not sure I can withstand O spirit of Christmas, did you mean to leave behind This child still full of wonder; feelings always confined? O spirit of Christmas, will you still keep in touch With this young boy in the mirror who can't offer much? He's doing all he could, hoping it would suffice To keep the fire going and not get frozen deep in ice