Guilty in Finding Peace

I never wanted this day to come, I know I hurt the people I love. I tried my hardest to stay and fight, but life was permanently in the darkest of night. People told me to be strong, I don't think anyone understands having pain for so long. I tried to be the best version of me, but all the bad is what people chose to see. I thought about this long and hard, I know some people will be left with scars. Words can never hurt you is the biggest lie, it's because of words that many people die. Peace was something I wouldn't attain, so to me this outcome was my only gain. I was told I was God's mistakes, well I made the choice, now me He can take. My life was a pit of despair, it felt like I was drowning and not getting air. Explaining the pain, is not the same as living it, day by day you feel like you're going insane. I wish I could say this was because of me, but the people around me caused this to be. I was living in complete misery, I longer had my humanity. I was seen as a target, a person people loved to bully, because of that, I would lose myself fully. Mom and dad, I know this makes you sad, as parents you were the greatest, nothing you did was bad. Don't blame yourselves for how society failed me