Guilty

I watched my grades grow lower— No, not lower… just maintained. So why does it feel like it’s over? Only because someone else’s were higher. My emotions rose quietly when it rained. It’s my fault—why should I feel envious? I never took the steps she bravely did; She worked harder. I just existed. I couldn’t cry, knowing I’m the reason. Everything I do feels second best. Even the weather seems more noticed— while I remain in the quiet background. I don’t want to live inside the shadows.