grief and healing

I won't can't sit around and be sad anymore here and there we'll give in to the grief grief of a mother who acted like she hated me but also became my best friend before the end grief of a father who didn't know how to manage mental illness much less support and care for children grief of a best friend who had so much more life in him but decided to take his life across treacherous plains away from here, no longer able to be seen nor heard grief of a boyfriend who was almost as bad as that faraway father who built me up to tear me back down to kick me out into the dirt and leave me there grief for the person I was with him I was cute and happy smiley, one might say. weird and unique to myself forgiving and understanding. I would have died if he asked me to but alas, here I am, rebuilding brick by brick and im kind of excited to see this girl the one that's not just hurt, one that's healing one that takes care of herself because everyone else she trusted, had let her down. every single last one of them siblings aside she is still kind and cute and lovely but shes more off limits than that girl y'all used to know shes more selective because you don't deserve her energy. unless she says you do.