graveyard.

i can't remember what he looks like i can't remember how he sounds i can't remember what it was like with him around i can't remember his smile i can't remember the stupid promises that he said he would fill but he just filled his grave. i can remember when i heard the heartbreak and the terror and the seeing of the body before it sunk deep under crying in my mother's arms as she tried to soothe me dresses in black and his skin was dressed in red i want everything to be over i wish i was the one lay dead i hate living without him and it racks around my head killing me why did it happen? why did they slaughter him and wind up with me feeling like this instead? i'm visiting him for the last time as they tear his coffin from the ground i want him to kiss me on the head as i sit with him, safe and sound but that isn't reality and the grass is ruined and the plans are laid out i can't stop them from taking his carcass away the houses are built on his resting place when he is thrown into countless ditches and then when i swear at the workers they bat me away and i call them "sons of bitches"