gratitude

even in the thick of it all.. when I barely put one step in front of the other. when another bite is too daunting. when my body rots under my own command. even then. I graze my fingers against the wall. you're there, some- where, and I know you'd hate to see me cry. so I don't. I roll over. I close my eyes. I turn in my phone, and I say thanks. I will not let this disease take me when you survived for it not to take you.