grasping

so many things I wish I could say the words cling to my soul they are chained like a dog to a tree I do not want to be held back a scene. I must sit in the side watching my friends and family grow to me it's all a show I'm grasping for air and no one can hear my cry for help. im silence. I scream in the night I was doing so well I AM doing so well idk what happened I'm going back down these those moments where it's good and great I don't wanna believe it because I feel like it fake it's too good to be true. I once heard of the happily ever afters but the truth was hidden I'm still putting on a fake smile to please the world and I'm tired the work is catching me. cat and mouse never end I'm so tired of trying my hardest and not being enough idk what more you want from me you expect the world and I'm only 14 I can only give so much I'm tired of trying to be perfect I mentally and physically drained my battery on empty I never put myself first even when I should it's both a blessing and a curse to be able to be the person people come to for comfort and help I love to do it it's the person I am and I'll never hide from it i push down my feelings and change the way I feel to please others.