Goodbye

So much tightness in the chest, trembling, feeling so sad, pretending water is alcohol, Laughing to avoid crying Why does it hurt so much? Why won't it go away? Tell me when can I breathe freely again? Cold tears, but they change nothing. feeling so insecure, so vulnerable and small. I just wanted to be someone. Maybe someone for you. Or maybe just someone for me. Someone who can be themselves, who is understood and won't be abandoned again. So why don't you just tell me what you want? Why is communication so difficult for you? And why do you leave when I try to be there? How about no signals instead of that? Did you even want me like this? guess I'm not supposed to find out. So please stop. just stop. •