Get worse

I smile as the room spins and my vision blurs It just means I'm doing it right As 16 hours turns to 18, 18 to 24, 24 to 48, I get butterflies in my stomach as I lose sight I don't see myself wanting to get better. Not until I can see the change There's so point in getting better If I never got worse. If i stay the same. But is there any point to any of this is nobody notices? If I stay the same. 20 down and she still taunts me. She taunts me and I love her for it I find myself wanting to let it out To chew it up and spit Just give it a couple more months Then somebody will care about the sick on my breath Just a couple more years And she'll lead me to death.