~ Full circle ~

Becoming what you hated is such a funny thing to me, obsession meet Indifference and Indifference meets obsession. It comes full circle, everything does. Is it the fear I'll be abandoned once more. A fear that isn't even based in logic, I'm always the first to run, I fall head over heals, heart over head, and yet I'm still the one who pushes the ones who care away... Is it the same self sabotaging behavior or is it something new? It feels new, still I can't shake the endless familiarity. Maybe it's him, maybe I'm doing the same thing he did to me. On some subconscious level, maybe it's survival. Fight or flight in the safest situations. I find it funny, becoming what you hate, or I find the irony that someone as stubborn as me, fails in the same subject over and over again.