fuck relationship

I never ment to hurt you I never ment to cheat I only ever ment to love you Share my life with you I messed up My trauma like a dagger Shredding me open Letting my past spill out Everything seems new only happened 2 seconds ago I'm stuck I'm the middle I don't know where I am Who am I with Everything and anything i do Can and will give them a reason A reason to shred my skin open A reason to rape me A reason to do what ever they please I'm trapped I can't refuse or I die Than you appear and I snap back It feels like it should be safe I am safe but hard to believe Dagger in my chest screaming I have to come clean We fight I deserve worse The dagger whipping me back Back into the trauma Spiraling farther and farther You pull me up The rope is thinner than thread Things grow We get better But the past The dagger slowly cutting at that rope It's way to clear You promise to forgive me You promise we'd grow together You promised me So why do you use it against me Every time I have a small promblem Every little thing You press on that dagger Waiting for the treads to snap Why make the promises Promises you know you can't keep I just wanted to feel heard