fuck em thoughts

what did i ever do to deserve this? whose sins should i atone for, since i know i aint been thru nothing. what will it take to break free? for me to just stand up and leave why do i gotta be the one whos hurting? why cant yall carry this fucking weight? yet again, i ask for help yet i dont recall ever getting it. are these sick thoughts keeping back? shall i get rid of this trauma? i simply cant live like this, full of hate and craving drama its the illness within thats ruinin me why am I the one to bear it? what caused fate to decide upon me? did they see the weak resolve inside? did they ever try and think about what they made me commit. i wanna be alone, but your memory stays here i wanna be loved so you must leave me. its for the better that I suffer, since that way you wont know agony. its for the better that I cry, just so you wont have to try. yeah i can handle it, "he's a man" after all, well fuck you im not alright you brought me this pain i stayed up all night - to watch the rain. because i'm moody, you never let me be that i wanna cry now, but we all know I cant do that. "he's a man", "why should i care". because you're the one i cared for. you're the one who made me insomniac